I am an equestrian. The past 13 years of my life are made up of time riding and time not riding. A dedication of sorts, I have spent a tremendous amount of time studying and learning to understand horses, coming to know more about these animals and the inner workings of the community built around them than anything else. Despite this extreme concentration, my life outside of horses exists almost entirely separate. Complex by nature, I have found that it is so much easier to keep this part of myself to those who already exist in the horse world.
This project is my very first overlapping of dedications. Taking the camera, the tool I have leaned on and gone back to time and time again to make work, into a space that I have kept closed off from all other parts of my world presented itself as a much more difficult task than I originally thought. Throughout the process of making these images and handling the space in a creative way for the first time, I had the opportunity to approach this space and specific part of my identity from an alienated perspective. It forced me to confront not only the personal values rooted in this part of my life, but also the resentment and anxieties it has woven into me.
Visually, these images are informed by the notion of approaching a space so familiar you can trace it with your eyes closed from a perspective that sets you back as though you have never been there. It navigates the intersection of two identities, two intentions, and the unsettling reality of what is familiar yet uninformed. Despite the hesitation of my process, these images ultimately reflect the most rewarding elements of my experience with horses thus far…a deep understanding of the earth and its creatures, an appreciation and respect for the heritage of my sport, and most importantly, the well being of the animals who started it all for me.